Its been 40 days since I have written.. So that makes it day 84-85. I am not really sure. To the people who read these posts, you must be thinking i might post about ‘her’.
If you are thinking that, then you are correct. Yes, you are correct.
Until this day, i still think about you. Until this day, i still pray to God to keep you safe. To keep you happy. And I am guessing its working.. Okay, i could admit, i did try to get over you.. Tried with full might. Even trying to put a girl there just to forget about you but no.. That is not me. That is not how i should treat this situation. I do not know what i was thinking.. But honestly, i can not get over you. I know, its soo stupid. Because even knowing about things, confronting people, especially the guys that has had and currently is in some type of relationship with you, i still am jealous of them. Even though you are soo stubborn and yet you have changed, my heart still drops when i do see you in person. Just knowing that we are technically strangers, it hurts. Still. I dont know what you would call it. I still dream about you which should have been done months ago but no. I still catch myself thinking about you. I still catch myself get so uneasy, vulnerable, weak.. With just having the thought there. The memories are still drilled in my head. And New Years. That’s all I have to say about that. I still count.. Don’t think i haven’t stopped. Well the truth is out now. The time is 10:09 and even though my eyes grow heavy, the memories drill deeper and deeper and my thoughts feel no reaction to my exhausted body. Good night and sleep tight Kat.